"Little Manhattan" Is Not Cute or Well Done, It Misses the Mark with Really Corny Dialogue

by Ed Bagley

Little Manhattan is a comedy about a couple of fifth graders in New York who explore their budding emotions in a personal relationship at the attraction stage. Gabe, the young boy, finds his parents going through a rough time in their marriage as his dad and mom are still together, but his mother is dating other men. His parents are all but separated in the truest sense of the word, and on the verge of divorce, when Gabe, who thinks girls are gross, suddenly falls in love with Rosemary. Therein lies the undoing of this movie that you want to like more than it is likeable.

Little Manhattan – 1 Star (Terrible)

Little Manhattan is a comedy about a couple of fifth graders in New York who explore their budding emotions in a personal relationship at the attraction stage.

Gabe (Josh Hutcherson), the young boy, finds his parents going through a rough time in their marriage as his dad and mom are still together, but his mother is dating other men. His parents are all but separated in the truest sense of the word, and on the verge of divorce, when Gabe, who thinks girls are gross, suddenly falls in love with Rosemary (Charlie Ray).

Therein lies the undoing of this movie that you want to like more than it is likeable.

Gabe's parents, Leslie (Cynthia Nixon) and Adam (Bradley Whitford) add little to this movie. They make parents seem pretty silly, immature and unable to express themselves in any meaningful way.

Little Manhattan is written by Jennifer Flackett, who has not a clue how kids this age really talk and what they really say. Here are some "memorable quotes" from the film:

Gabe: "See, life is about so much more than Rosemary. I had my family, my health, my kicking career. I really had no room for a woman in my life."

Gabe: "I couldn't escape them, all the little things I left unsaid, I was drowning in them."

Gabe: "See, this is just like I told you. Same thing I knew getting into this whole mess – love ends."

Gabe: "Love is an ugly, terrible business practiced by fools. It'll trample your heart and leave you bleeding on the floor. And what does it really get you in the end? Nothing but a few incredible memories that you can't ever shake. The truth is there's gonna be other girls out there. I mean, I hope, but I'm never gonna get another first love. That one's always gonna be her."

Gabe: "Is there anything worse than dress shopping? I would rather have my toenails peeled off one by one with pliers than spend five minutes in the dress store."

This is supposed to be an 11-year-old boy talking about falling in love the first time.

In the end, Gabe’s relationship with Rosemary ends, and his parents get back together.

It sounds as if Jennifer Flackett has had a lot of bad encounters in her romantic life.

Little Manhattan is the only film I have ever reviewed that did not get a single sniff at an award nomination for anything, and it is clear why.

On the trivia side, Charlie Ray's aunt saw a casting call for the role of Rosemary in a newspaper. She took her niece who had never auditioned before, and Charlie Ray got the part and her film debut.

Gabe and Rosemary's on-screen "first kiss" was actually the first kiss for actors Josh Hutcherson and Charlie Ray in real life.

Little Manhattan is worth seeing once to remind yourself that, despite our children growing up "too quickly" in today’s sex-saturated, youth-driven society of false values, thankfully, fifth graders still do not think the way these fifth graders think, and they do not do the things these fifth graders do.

The premise of the movie is good, but there is a huge difference in what Flackett thinks fifth graders say and do, and what they actually say and do.

When you want to see a movie about how children really think and act, go directly to "A Christmas Story", in which a Red Ryder BB gun gets a young boy’s attention, rather than a girl.